This post is one from a series of entries called Your Guide to Making it Big in Tokyo., in which we explore ways you might over come or avoid a possible Tokyo Tragedy when the honeymoon fades and the city buzz kicks in.
The last time I checked Tokyo was packing in about 8,762 people per square kilometer. That figure only accounts for the human bodies. Add to that all the robots, manga figurines, bento boxes, hello kitty bowling balls and ramen bowls and you have yourself a pretty tight squeeze.
When you are feeling like there is very little room to breathe and no space to chill, how can you get out if leaving is not your favorite plan?
- Embrace the Flow This is not so easy to do when you have 1.2 million people streaming down the steps towards you trying to get on the train that you are trying to get off (if you catch any rush hour train you know exactly what I mean).
This battle could be seen as an analogy of life in Tokyo.
When the stream is flowing against you, or so it seems, (happens often after plonking yourself into a new world minus the comforts and supports you once had) know that you have choices.
You can stand like a stick in the mud, refusing to budge, holding your ground, thinking your way is the only way – as an experiment one day you might like to try this in a Tokyo crowd, see what happens to you. Expect a few shoulder barges, pushes, confused glances and rough nudges, not because people in Tokyo are impolite but because they have a flow, an agenda and a deadline just like us all. You are not going to get to your destination any quicker than if you had paused to acknowledge and accept, then went on your merry way.
Another choice is to accept the flow of life, the flow of the crowd in Shinjuku station, the flow of getting what you need in a foreign city. I am not suggesting you let people or life in the city run all over you. I am suggesting that you might like to take a broader scan of each situation you enter, see yourself as one unique individual amongst a huge picture of other unique individuals. Each have their own focus and stories. When we allow in this kind of awareness the ‘crowd’ takes on a much more friendly and human element, unlike the savage robot it can sometimes appear to be.
- Whisper Sweet Nothings To put it bluntly, quit complaining and start living. Every thought, every action, every outcome is your choice and when things don’t go your way or seem to be caving in you have yet another choice as to how you will react.
It took me a long time to wake up to this and I am still processing it. I would walk around the city grumbling to myself and others in my head “stupid crowd” “get out of my way” “don’t stop here can’t you see I am trying to get through?” “what the hell do you think you are doing?” “I friggin hate this cold weather” “ugh you disgusting pig don’t spit on the footpath like that” “everyone get off the train so I can get a seat” “grumble grumble grumble” What I started to realize was that although I felt relatively comfortable and content my inner grumble was white washing the times when I could be really enjoying this city that I chose to live in. I had become blind to my surroundings and totally tuned into my inner noise.
It is not easy to stop that chatter, the grumbling, negative whispers. In fact it can become so familiar that you don’t even recognize you are doing it, creating that vibe it your head. It infiltrates your life with stealth like precision.
The trick is to try and catch the noise as you are making it over and over to yourself. At first this is difficult because it has become so much a part of who you are that you don’t even hear it, but if you tap in and really listen it is there. Catching it, raising your awareness of it is the first step to starting to turn the volume down and replacing it with new tracks.
Sometimes replacing the negative noise with a positive phrase or a kind thought feels forced and fake, but continuing to replace the grumble with a smile – inside or out – is a great form of retraining. Awareness and action, that is what it is all about brothers and sisters.
Trust me, if you then venture out onto the streets of Tokyo with “Wow that street art is really cool I never noticed it before” or “I love the colors and typography in this neighborhood” “Riding the train is so rad because I get to see all the rooftops of Tokyo” “Look at that awesome apartment I am going to live there” in your head, rather than “I can’t stand being on this train” “This city is so grey” “Why doesn’t anything in this shop fit me?” “What the hell are you looking at?”, life in the city will transform almost instantaneously. The crowds, the streets, the shops, the city will still be the same but your perception will have changed and that can make or break a situation.
- Try a Little Tenderness The one thing I notice coming back into Narita, every time, is the lack of smiles at the airport, the absence of chatter on the train, the heads-down-on-a-mission body language.
Coming from a place where you are bound to get a good hard chatting to if you stay in one place for any length of time, the lack of contact can be a brutal culture shock. The cultural difference can take it’s toll on someone who is used to open human attention – a smile, a “G’day” or even a hideous wolf whistle. Sometimes before you know it you find yourself sinking into the same mode, head-down-on-a-mission, cutting yourself off, withdrawing.
Blame it on language, culture, a fast pace life style, what ever it is it can take some balancing out. Making contact is important, sharing smiles, offering seats, courteous gestures and the odd chat here and there really add to the liveliness of the rat race, reigniting the human flame. While maintaining a certain amount of cultural understanding and social awareness, I am not suggesting you crack open a cold one and offer it to the salary man next to you on the morning train, opening up to the human element of the rush and offering up some kindness works wonders for your own flow and connection. Smile and the world smiles with you. (Smile in Tokyo and at least you will be sending a message to your own brain that you are happy.)
“Happiness is a state of being not a destination.”
Some more juicy reads to make you smile…
Try Kindness! Works every time, simple yet genuine kindness.
12 Powerful Life Lessons from The Alchemist. If you have not read The Alchemist, and you are a world traveler in search of adventure and treasures, you totally should. It is all about the Universal language – love it!
What makes you smile in the city? I really love seeing other people drifting through the crowds oblivious to their surroundings but with a big smile on their face or laughing at a funny phone message (you know the feeling when you just can’t hold the giggles in)
Filed under: tokyo | Tagged: life in japan, life in tokyo, life int he city, tokyo, tokyo crowds
